| Author | Message | ||
     Aura Unregistered guest Rating: |
I would like to bring to people’s awareness regarding the many parents who are being labelled ‘unfit to parent’ by social services, just because they have a learning difficulty. There’s no help what’s-so-ever for parents out there with learning difficulties, too many are frightened to ask for help lest they get the same treatment as I’ve received in my story below. People with learning problems are treated a lot more harsher, then someone who hasn’t got learning difficulties. I will be attending the conference ran by Change in London on January 11th, and hope to start a group up called ‘Parenting without Prejudice’ which will help these people to get the help they so deserve. Disabled people and people with learning difficulties have a right to be parents, and shouldn’t live in fear of their children being taken away never to be seen again; except in memory. I’m the mother of a 11mth old boy who had severe eczema; I also have a learning difficulty which is boarder-line, and curvature of the spine (Scoliosis) which is progressive. My son had to go into hospital because he was loosing weight, which was quite worrying for me. They found out in tests that he was allergic to cow’s milk and had to go onto Soya, I had been breastfeeding for six months and had mentioned about goat’s milk to my health visitor, but she had refused and put him on 'SMA Gold' which has traces of cows milk in.. Then social services came into hospital and said that we were to be separated after leaving hospital, and I had to get a solicitor. I was very upset and knew nothing about solicitors’ courts or anything about the legal system, why should I? I had a very abrupt social worker who came into hospital, with a Nazi attitude telling me what I could and couldn’t do with my son. Who do you think I was going to listen to? Someone who’s only interested in another case, or someone who in a position to save lives? My son was due a feed and I didn’t know how to make it up then, I pulled the cord to call a nurse. The social worker got impatient and went off to the kitchen, and put her nail varnished hands into my steraliser, to get my bottle out. I had to dispose of the whole lot and clean it out, some of her nail varnish came off as well and was floating around my bottles, and I don’t think my nurse was very happy! My solicitor found us a foster carer’s place to take us on after we left hospital which was miles away from my parents, until a place could be found at a mother and baby unit. I had to keep going to court and a care order was made. I didn’t understand what I did wrong, it was very confusing. I had to undergo an IQ test where I had to answer such questions like what was the speed of light. I also had to match up coloured blocks from a book. My IQ was low anyway, because I was under a lot of stress. I was sent to a mother and baby unit after two weeks which was right across the country, I was the only one there with a learning disability. I didn’t know anyone and the staff were quite harsh, it was like being in an open prison in my eyes. I wasn’t allowed out for more than an hour with my son and everything I did was written up in a report for the staff to see. My reports were never any good, full of complaints and criticisms. I had to see a councillor who wrote everything down word for word everything I said for the staff to read, which supposed to be in confidence (fat chance of that!). I was supposed to be there for six month’s; the assessment broke down after six weeks because they said I was too slow. They took my son away without warning to a foster carer’s near where I lived, while I had to make my own way back home. I love my son very much, I see him for any hour at children’s resource centre through supervised contact. He’s already forgotten who I am. I just wanted to bring to attention to what is happening to a lot of parents in my situation. I didn’t do anything wrong, my only crime was to have a learning difficulty. I will never see my darling boy again, and I will never ever forget him. | ||
| carole wilson (Caz) Newbie Username: Caz Post Number: 1 Registered: 03-2005 Rating: N/A |
aura.what dreadful story you have.i have a similar story.in my case no one believed me and the consequence my daughter ended up brain damaged,and myself with epilepsy which effects my thinking and iq aswell.thankfully i can cope with social workers etc.so my story ended differently to aura's.you need an advocate.u should tell the social worker to see a film and read the book"profoundly normal".may open there minds caz | ||
| Anonymous Rating: |
This is what happens now in todays society. Margaret Hodge the children's minister has a hell of a lot to answer for, esepecially about the running of these instutanilised mother and baby units who now have an excuse to make vulnerable mothers and their babies suffer in silence. | ||
| Jacqueline Alban (Jacqui) Newbie Username: Jacqui Post Number: 2 Registered: 01-2005 Rating: N/A |
Get advocates, is the only suggestion I can give. So much of this is happening nowadays, despite all the government "lip service". That is all it is "lip service", Ensure your advocate is disabled themselves so at least they have an understanding of what is happening to you. It is so important that experiences like these are high lighted otherwise nothing ever changes. I'm not saying anything will change in the near future but we can only try. Have you got any advocacy groups or organisations of disabled people in your area? I was an advocate before moving to France, but had supported a lady in one of these mother and baby units, what a joke, cameras everywhere, no support, she was left to fend for herself instead of being supported in her parenting role. It doesn't matter at the end of the day on how "slow" you are to pick up some of the tasks, if Social Care and Health did what they were meant to do then you could take as long as you like to ensure that your baby got we he/she needed as long as you were supported. At the end of the day and as a disabled parent myself, no baby comes with a handbook, and who is to say we are better or worse than a non disabled person! We may just need a bit more support from doctors, health visitors and the like rather than all being branded with the brush that just because we are a bit "slow" or can't get about the same as others or can't use a baby bath or push the pram the same as non disabled people, then we are unfit, or care/love our children any less. I really hope things change for you and that you get the support you so obviously need/want. | ||
| deborah whitcliffe (Nadene) Newbie Username: Nadene Post Number: 1 Registered: 04-2005 Rating: N/A |
I'm a social work student working with a parent with mild learning difficulties and who has had similar experiences as Aura. I am trying to enagage her in an attempt to prevent her child being taken into foster care (or longer term care)because in my mind she is a good mother and does her best in her particular circumstances, but needs low level support in certain areas. Understandably she is not willing to work with me unless she has too and I don't particularly wish to carry out forced intervention. The point of the work I am doing is around empowerment and anti discriminative practice, but I can't empower her if she won't work with me. I found this site searching for information about parents with learning disabilities and outcomes. Is there anyone who can help me? I need advice from your perspective and how I could best win around or engage with my client but I only have a short time to work with her. I would especially be interested in speaking to Aura about what the social worker and other professionals could/should have done better to keep her family together and how you felt about being disempowered and how easy or not was it to get help/support/advice. | ||
| aura Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
For Deborah Whitcliff. I'm working with an advocacy centre called Swan. I will be setting up a group called Parenting without Prejudice, there is a yahoo group under that name at the moment. Please check out http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Parentingwithoutprejudice/ for more information. Also these sites might help you. Check out a website titled, ‘they said what!!?’ http://www.jrf.org.uk/knowledge/findings/socialcare/scr7108.asp http://www.valuingpeople.gov.uk/FamiliesParents.htm www.changepeople.co.uk http://www.leeds.ac.uk/disability-studies/archiveuk/Booth/booth.pdf the ‘Disabled Parents Network’ Your cliant may be very afraid of you, and view as someone who want's to take her child away, so it may take a long time before you gain her trust. I don't think i was given a fair chance to prove I could be a good parent, instead I was packed hurridly off to a mother and baby unit just to keep me out the way. Many thanks.  | ||
| Will Dingli Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
Dear Aura and Caz, I work for the Disability Rights Commission (DRC) press office and read about your experiences with much sadness. I wondered if perhaps you would be prepared to talk to us about what happened to you and your children? We are currently running a campaign to influence independent and community living and your stories would really bring our work to life. Our work is aimed at creating a society where disabled people can participate fully as equal citizens and we help enforce rights for disabled people. If you feel you'd like to help us with some media work, you can contact will.dingli@drc-gb.org Our website address is www.drc.org.uk. Many thanks | ||
| aura Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
Dear Mr Dingli. I have just read your message replying about parents with learning difficulties who have had their children unlawfully adopted as a result. I would love to tell you about what happened to me, and what I also witnessed in the mother and baby unite. But first I must go through my advocacy sector and let them know, I hope you didn't mind. I am also starting up a campaign to help parents with learning difficulties called 'Parenting without Prejidice'. Did you see the ITV report on Wednesday about a couple who's children were adopted within a month. I also attended the change conference which was held at Bloomesbury in London where many people turned up, some without their children. I have checked your website out which is very intresting, and will send my story in at some point. many thanks and please e-mail me toppuk@yahoo.co.uk if you would like further information. Yours sincerely Aura. | ||
| jackie Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
i no i have a simalar story it is so rong i tell you all wen i on nest it is of my 2 grand children | ||
| jackie Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
hi i have mild learing difercuties i have 4 girls my oldest as 2 children to her ex boyfrend and coz he had learing difercutis they were both took from birth no chance to prove they cood ever look after them they have been adopted now we not alowed to see them no more. | ||
| Rachel Williams (Rachywheels) Newbie Username: Rachywheels Post Number: 12 Registered: 01-2005 Rating: N/A |
Just thought I would ask if anyone saw the article on ITV's lunchtime news about the couple with learning disabilities who had their children taken away from them. I just wondered what people thought of the coverage and how it was reported by ITN. They held a discussion and I felt generally it was positive in the way that disabled parents were coming across. The majority of respondants were arguing that having a disability should give people the same rights to a family as non disabled people. The good thing was that they were all non disabled people who were commenting. Although the story itself did not have a happy ending I felt the resulting discussion gave a positive view of disabled parenting. I do feel however that they should have contacted DPN to allow representation on the programme. They did have someone from DRC but I felt that wasn't really appropriate. What do you all think? | ||
| Anonymous Rating: N/A |
My name is Anu, i had my baby on the 19th october 2004 i was living in Reading for a month after he was born in a mother and baby unit and fed my baby and he was fine when we were living their and he was taking his milk alright he was doing okay at the mother and baby unit, but i was only allowed out only for 2 hour on my own beacuse it was too near to the father of the baby and they want me to move up to north hampton for a resdidential assessment but the real reason was they want me to far away as possible from the father. I ve already got a two year old baby he has got cerbral palsy beacuse of the father shaking my two year old he shoke him when he was two in a half months old. I moved up to North Hampton when he was a month old he was fine when we got there beacause he was sleeping. But when the eveing came he was really unsettled i tried to give him his bottle he took it but when i started winding him he brought up a quarter of his milk and he was doing this for amonth and half living in the mother and baby unit. He was so unsettled and it was hard to settle him down especially when it came to feeding him and changing his nappy. And the staff knew i had learning difficulties and i always said everybody told me i had learning disability and i think i dont have i can think for myself. but then new staff came in and it was mad some days beacuse their was too many satff in the house because some of their staff were from the childrens home next door and they had to work some shift at the mother and baby unit and whenever it got loud and busy he would get unsettle and make it diffcult to look after him. And i always told the professionals that my baby doesnt want to be here he does not like it and they put all the blame on me and said it was me but a mother knows when their baby is not happy about somethink and i knew it was the mother and baby unit. The were treating me like a child they writing in my report they had to show me how to sterlise and wash his bottles and how to make them, they did not tell me anythink i knew what i had to do the only thing they done was watch me to make up his bottles. Beacuse they thought i wasnt making his bottle probably they said i was putting 6oz of water and only 5 scoops of milk powder in the bottle, i said to them i know how to make up his bottles i dont kanow how top measure his bottles in ozs with my first son i always measured in mls and made up his bottles in ozs and thats what i done with my second son. And then from there they were still traeting me like a child. I had a meetinf with the staff and babys social worker and i said i do not like how the staff are treating me i said can they stop supporting me and let me get on with like i was at home on my own with my baby without the staff being their. I did that till my asssessment finished but they said to me half way through that i always argued with them, but i was trying to get my point across i knew what i was doing and i did listen to them but every time i tried something new with my baby he got unsettled again. So i tried new things on my own and some days it work and some dayd i didnt. And they told me i was a bad mother i did not know how to look after a baby. i did not like the mother and baby it completly changed my baby so much. And the way my son was like when we were in the mother and baby unit they put all the blame on me and local authority thought it was best for my sons future he should go for adoption but he in foster care at the moment and im allowed to see him till he goes into adoption. i do not want my son to go into adoption i think he should be a home with me, i think no one has listened to be properly. And io think i a good mother and so does alot of people think im a good mother and know ive got the best interested in my son. Im tyring to appeal against it, but know they are telling me i have to be settled in my own property, have settled partner and have some behind me to be a mother. But i have been to the council and they said to as a single person i cant get re housed for 4 years, but they said if i get my son back they will house me staright away. I siad to social services i do not need a partner to help me look after my son their is alot of single mother out there looking after their babys on their own. And i can still have a job with a child when he starts going to school i can start work. but they think i do not how to look after him when he gets older. i fed up with every body treating my baby like a text book he is baby and growing up in his own way not how everybody wants him to be and i want him back so much and he knows who iam because he smiles at me every time i see him for contact | ||
| Anonymous Rating: N/A |
Dear Anu I was horrified to read you story, but unfortunately not shocked. I supported a lady, sounds a similar case though the mother and baby assessment centre in Northampton a couple of years ago. I was an advocate, and I was horrified at the time how people were treated, etc. Anyway are you still in the Northampton area, if you are please give this lady a call and say it is urgent and you just need a person to support you whilst all this goes on and make sure that you are actually listened to, rather than just the professionals. Her name is Karen Rista at Advocacy Northamptonshire.... tel 01933 664800 http://www.dpan.co.uk/ or email her on karen@dpan.co.uk If you aren't in Northamptonshire still please find a local advocacy organisation close to you, someone who is independent and is interested in supporting you. Hope this helps | ||
| Anonymous Rating: N/A |
My son has now been adopted and lives abroad. BBC watchdog should do an undercover programme on these mother and baby units because a lot of them break the law. The children's minister won't comment because she is a low life COWARD! She's not women enough to comment, and nor was anyone in Hitlers NAZI party!  | ||
| Anonymous Rating: |
I am a Social Worker currently working in a Child Protection (Family Assessment Unit). My background generally being Learning Difficulties. Since Working within the Unit I have, at times been horrified at the way parents with Learning Difficulties have been treated and have decided to try to change things. I am currently looking for funding, support or some kind of 'partner' in order to establish my own assessment premises where parents with difficulties could get support with parenting skills, and have an assessment which takes into account specific ongoing support needs once back in the community in an attempt to empower parents with difficulties to remain with their children. If anyone has any information could they leave a message and I shall get back to them many thanks  } | ||
| aura Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
please visit http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Parentingwithoutprejudice/ we might be on the same wavelengh.  | ||
| Anonymous Rating: N/A |
Hello i have just come across this forum by accident but have known about the disabled parents network for sometime so i thought i would comment in on my views on how people who are learning disabled who want to be parents have children and so on but end up being treated unfairly. I have endless knowledge and experience of people who are learning disabled Both my parents had various disablities//high support needs,my partner and daughter are learning disabled and so is my sister and have been involved with the Social Services for the past 35 years ( ouch !!!!!) The bottom line is that they were already in my life long before i was born.and they are still even though i dont have a lot of respect for them they are still involved now with my partner my chidren my sister and my mum. They say you either love them or hate them but in my view they have no understanding of humans or on us as people.I know that i am posting on a public forum and i am aware that anyone could be reading this but then this has to be said, i nearly died as a child and today as an adult i could have had a chance of being a parent a father with my partner who i met while in care at a institutionalised residential setting Which did not condone itself to people especially those who were learning disabled from engaging in any form of relationship (especially sexual)the closest they were allowed was just holding hands and say a peck on the cheek. We meaning my partner and i broke such condonancy and our relationship became physical/sexual to a point 19 years on we are still together Not easy and especially when i for endless years was also believed to be learning disabled yet to this date being instutionalised and being put through an IQ test at the request of social services in Essex was told i was on the the border (my partner is a mosaic downs/borderline) But then mysteriously this was rejected by the same people SS who insisted in the first place that this was needed oh two further tests were needed yet remember going back to a time on how people like you and my partner and i were looked upon shunned and refered to as being what Mencap was before its name was changed. Shocked you should be because this how the Social Services treat people especially the ones who dont quite fit in as a to quite simply speak neither seen nor heard I was told for quite some time that i was anti-authority maybe i am maybe i am not even my partner and son are going down this route. To be quite fair and open about this i am not publicy attacking these people but when they destroy people's lives especially the ones who can't fight back something isn't quite right there yes children get removed but then in my case this nearly didnt happen.So my views are somewhat biased on are the social services Really doing there job properley over 78,000 children in care with over 4,000 waiting to be adopted ask me how many of those children were either snatched or uprooted from parents who were either learning disabled or somehow were'nt up for being parents take that case in Essex about that couple who were deemed too slow. I tell you something there's a similarity to that story and ours meaning my partner and i the mother has a learning disability and so does my partner the father was assummed to have one along with a problem with his anger course of action anger management course which fits in with me as to date i have been told there is no proof to suggest that iever had a learning disability oh and with the anger problem thats because i was abused and iam now dealing with that at present. As with the anger management course thats history oh the father from Essex held down a steady job and i was wanting to hold down work but was either told your'e needed to stay at home with your wife and kids or rely on state handouts So much for the way we live in a society where you have to fight for your rights.Finally i really want to draw on the status of parents who are learning disabled who really dont have a say in how they choose how to run their life except get put down called a liar obese and a re**** my partner were called these by her social worker and a clinical physcologist both working in the field of learning disabilities Parents/People who are learning disabled/disabled are shunned by the SS Health Services(NHS)accused of putting pressure etc etc dragged through the family courts told you havent harmed your children but that it is because of your backgrounds that your children deserve better,and so on oh another thing for the past seven years my partner and i have been locked in a nasty/uneccesary battle with a local authority/social services over our children cant say much as we are now entering our eight year but one thing we havent lost them well one of them as we still claim 50% parental responsibility over him (first child) Shocking isnt it but then we know who we are dealing dont we especially when there is a cover up on concealing the identity of the child but what if the parent already knows where there child is knows the adoptive/foster parents and knows who their child is talk about the secretiveness of the family courts this is justice straight out of the window For which i have no more to say gag me silence me for what we know who we are and who our children are,comments welcome and email me at designrainbow@msn.com for any comments raised in this message | ||
| Debbie Jenkins Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
Hi everyone I am an independent advocate for people with learning disabilities in Cardiff and the Vale of Glamorgan in South Wales and I am just about to start specifically promoting advocacy to parents with learning disabilities and the midwives in the local maternity units / hospitals and to set up an advocacy support group for the mums and dads themselves. I was horrified to read some of the entries on the forum and now even more determined to fight for the mums and dads that I may come across. My email in work is debbie@advocacymatterswales.co.uk if anyone would like to contact me. I'll let you know how I get on! | ||
| Jan Aram Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
Hi I work for Interact - an advocacy project in Brighton & Hove and I have been working for just over one year with a mother with a learning difficulty. She had 3 of her children placed with family relatives outside of the UK under a residence order. I was wondering if anyone else has had the experience or has heard of children placed abroad and what happens if the contact ordered by the court in the UK breaks down. Social services here are not interested as they say they have closed the case. | ||
| Gill Carr Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
Hallo, I'm Gill and I also work for Interact in Brighton and Hove, setting up a support group for Parents with Learning Difficulties. Any advice or information or experience in this field will be welcomed. My e-mail is gill@interact.bhci.org | ||
| aura Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
Social services here are not interested as they say they have closed the case. The real reason is that they couldn't give a scoobies, and use the excuse of closing the case! | ||
| eve buchanan (Ellaandeve) Newbie Username: Ellaandeve Post Number: 5 Registered: 12-2006 Rating: N/A |
Hi Aura, my name is Eve and I work for a voluntary organisation called Circles Network (www.circlesnetwork.org.uk). We have a project called Family Matters in which we are putting together a toolkit to help professionals work with disabled parents more effectively. Part of the toolkit that we are currently working on is a book of parents stories which highlight the issues that disabled parents have and positive and negative life experiences and instances of unfair treatment. I have been looking on the DPN forum for parents stories and yours sounds very interesting. I was wandering if you would be interested in having your story in our book. If you would like to contact me with any questions you can contact me directly on my email - eve.buchanan@circlesnetwork.org.uk I hope to hear from you Thanks Eve | ||
| john stuart (Stuart_j) Newbie Username: Stuart_j Post Number: 1 Registered: 01-2007 Rating: N/A |
i am a disabled single perant who is a disabled activist in scotland and do a lot of community work for where i live to prove that i can do stuff from a wheelchair i am not one who sits about all day doing nothing i like to keep my mind working at all times | ||
| christine spooner (Christine_spooner) Newbie Username: Christine_spooner Post Number: 3 Registered: 03-2007 Rating: N/A |
hello my name is christine. i had my two children taken into care and adopted because i had a learning disablity. there was no support for me out there and i know something needs to done because the pain i went through was bad and it is not fair on people who have learning disabilities. they do not realise that just because i have a learning disablity i can be a good and with the right support i can do well. they just will not give people like me a chance half of the time. | ||
| Anu Bassi (Skye) Newbie Username: Skye Post Number: 1 Registered: 10-2007 Rating: N/A |
Hi my name is Anu, i had another baby in 14th Decmber and she has got a different father to my other son. She has also got tooken away from social services and in foster care and going to go up for adoption. I do not agree to this and want her back. But i know if she goes up for adoption im going to lose her till she comes and looks for me when she gets older. I have got two sons are adopted one of them has got cerebral palsy and severe brain damage and he got shocken by his father in 2003. i had another son on the 19th October 2004 you have alrady read it, but he got tooken away from me, but he is adopted and living with his older brother in the same adopted home and see them both two yearly contact. But i am scared for my youngest daughter because we had t be put in a mother and baby unit when she was 4 days old but the things is she was acting similiar how my second eldest son was acting, she wasn't feeding properly she kept bringing it up, being unsettled know and then but she i gad to carry her all the time it was hard to anythink during the day and evening did like going to sleep at night and waking up in the middle of the night and did not want her bottle. i told social services i was worried and i would like to have some help, but they said no i had to look after my daughter on my own without any help and support, and they said if need it ask and i did and that got thrown back in my face. And when she was 4 months old i had lack review meeting and they critised and put me down saying i was a bad mother and couldn't look after my baby properly and i want meet her developmentally needs when she gets older, and they said it is the same similar reason why you second son got tooken away from you/ Went to court and asked the judge if i could stay with my daughter till the final hearing and moe to another mother and baby unit and the judge agreed. Because the foster carer i was with to start off with she has retired. When my daughte was five months old we went to another mother and baby unit and she was still the same till she was 6 months old till i put her on weaning food, and seemed to be a more happier baby, sleeping through the night, and around about seven months old she was putting her self to sleep. she did lose a bit weight but not that much but it did concern and i did told the social services i felt my daughter wasn't getting enough milk and not putting on weight like a baby should they should be going up not going down. this time round i don't feel it was that much demanding, but i had my son it was very very demanding and always had to have my attention on him, but with my daughter it wasn's that bad. And this time they said my learning disabilities is the reason why iam not parenting as well as social services want me to do. but i think i parent my daughter and my son the best i could they should. i am scared if she goes up for adoption i will neer see her again till she gets older and if that is if she does want to come and look for me, but i want her back i think social services are wrong putting ger in care they should of helped me more and supported me more they should help a mother not put them down or judge them and critise and one day i am going to prove social services they are wrong how they treat mothers these days and i think thet are worng putting children and babies for stupid reason and don't think my daughter desrerves to be adopted, i think i can look and parent my daughter, as i should as a mother. | ||
| alison hornsbury (Alibalicambs) Newbie Username: Alibalicambs Post Number: 1 Registered: 12-2007 Rating: N/A |
Hi Anu. I am so sorry you have been having such a difficult time. Have you ever contacted Change, they are are a group which supports people with learning disabilities and they have a specific project for parents with learning difficulties who have found it very hard to find support for their parenting. This includes some parents whose children have been taken away from them. They run a project called 'Fighting for Our children@. To contact them you can ring on 0113 243 0202 or email on changepeople@btconnect.com or visit their website on www.changepeople.co.uk The truth is that your social services dept really should be offering you a package of support, probably direct payments, and support and training to ensurea that you and your daughter are given the best possible chance to make a go of it. ~ Still if you give Change People a ring they may be able to help you fight and have case studies which you can use to support your case. Best wishes Alison | ||
| rebecca nightingale (Unregistered Guest) Unregistered guest Posted From: 213.48.46.141 Rating: N/A |
my names is rebecca nightingale i had my baby on the 23.11.07 but socialtooke my baby with out me saying that i cant look after my baby. They should of give me chance with looking after my daughter but no they didnt even try to find me mother and baby unit .so i could look after my baby that what i mean about the social they were the one that course my mum to die with how they keep on taken us away from my mum and putting us into care | ||
| Middlesmum Newbie Username: Middlesmum Post Number: 1 Registered: 06-2008 Rating: N/A |
I am absolutely heart broken to read the above stories. I have a disabled sister who did a social workers job (psychiatric district nurse) and who is very aware of the rights of 'vunerable' people. I hate labels. . I was also single disabled and ill for 14 years and had to deal with social services etc on my own and it was hard. I have found that often the support that is needed is just not provided. this is wether you are mentally ill/physically ill. I do not believe that any person has the irght to take a child from a parent unless I guess criminal intent is there. It is a sad fcat that those who are in care roles are so hard pushed that they end up not fighting the corners of the very people they first were employed to help. I am no expert but now being my sisters carer as well as having been a single mum disabled for years but well now I have a really good understainding of how desperate it is to ask for help and simply not get it. One has to deal with doctors....social services......etc and the sad thing is they are not perfect which is ok...(cos no one is) EXCEPT they have power that directly affects the lives of people who need help not punishment. WHo need care not held back services. Rebecca no one should have taken your child. no one. Its not your fault our society can not deal with supporting those more vunerable. Its simply cheaper for children to be passed on to others. I would encourage you to go and get some help .... psychologists can be good as you can be angry and not be thought of as unreasonable. Thats another thing. When you react angrily WHICH IS NORMAL IF YOUR CHILD IS TAKEN you are then judged on that...I am not saying everyone is against those peolpe who have a form of disability but the sad thing is we live in a society that puts money first before real care. before keeping children with their family. Ideally people should help people. I have 'disabled' friends....a few with learning disabilities. I think its all about society being made aware that we are ALL socially responsible for each other. Doesn't take much to help someone...and the times when people really need alot of help...then that should be found. It makes me mad that charities have to come to the aid of many people who are desperate ..Its sad that as a nation we do not care for each other...I have a very dear frined who suffered from severe mental illness. She had her baby taken and in my oppinion probably the set up was not safe for the child. BUT my dear sweet friend could not help having this mental illness.. The baby was taken and now lives in Australia. This happened 13 years ago. Isn't it sad that someone who is suffering from an illness then has their child taken? Isn't it sad that we as a nation watch and think thats ok? yes the child was not safe with the mother. BUT my point is...in this case WE need to take responsibility as a nation and look each of us to ourselves as to what WE can do. Until we see that taking a child should not be an answer (bar criminal intent involved) we wil lnever get out of this horrible culture of judging others who are less 'able' in the area of child care. We should not judge. RATHER PERHAPS WE SHOULD JUDGE OURSELVES FOR QUIETLY BEING PART OF A CULTURE THAT DOES NOT GET MORE INVOLVED WITH HELPING THOSE WHO NEED IT DAY IN AND OUT. Its all about priorities. Unfortunately 'looking after no.1' seems to be more important than 'caring for others'.. Do I sound synical? ..I have lived it and am just being honest.......its not complicated. You would not take a child away from royalty ..even if they unable to care for that child. All I am saying is everyone is as special and deserves the same support and funding. ..and I have no problem with royalty...just believe everyone is SPECIAL Emms } | ||
| Christine_spooner Forum Member Username: Christine_spooner Post Number: 6 Registered: 03-2007 Rating: N/A |
hi i am christine spooner. i am one of the many learning disabled people to have their children taken off them. i agree that this is unfair and something needs to be done. |
